Posted in Parenting

Back to school schedule?

My boys are finally heading back to school tomorrow! It’s about time too. Most of the other districts have been back for at least a week, if not two. I tried to get the boys back on the school bedtime schedule last week, but it is not an easy task.

As a mom, I also have to get back in the school schedule as well. Let me explain what I knew. I have not been doing the dishes after dinner, I started waiting until nap time for the twins. It was easier, I could relax after dinner and not worry about the mess. However, if I try to do that during the school year, I get cranky because there is no counter space in the morning. I need the space in the morning to make breakfast and lunches. So I have to get better about that. I also need to make sure that dinner is ready earlier than I have been for the summer vacation.

Luke (9) is starting fourth grade already and Ronin (7) is going into second. I’m really hoping they stop teaching that common core math shit. And that I will be able to help with homework without losing my patience. The school is going to provide glasses for tomorrow’s eclipse. They are going to learn about and see the eclipse the right way. I was hoping they would make the cereal box contraption, but since it’s the first day, I don’t think they will.

Well, here’s hoping for a great school year and patience for me.

Thanks for reading today!

Posted in Family Issues, Parenting



I cannot believe how big they are getting! It’s been 18 months already. I know I bitch about them and how much trouble they get into, but I love them so much anyway. My new background picture only took one take! The twins were still smiling so I wanted to capture the moment of stillness and smiles. Love my babies!!!

cropped-img_0872.jpgThis one was about a year ago!


And today, such a huge difference!

A few days old
Posted in Family Issues, Parenting

Why is everything wet? Part II

Here is an update on the plumbing situation in my house and the humorous wet parts of my everyday life.

So my twins love to get into trouble. If there is something wet, anywhere, they will find it and spill it. Coffee, beer, water, milk, or juice, they will spill it if you let them. I woke up one morning, and Samantha (19 mon) was soaking wet, head to toe. She had spilled the dog’s water bowl all over the floor and rolled around in it? I honestly don’t even know how she got so wet. Anthony loves to “flavor” coffee with LEGOS, crayons, and whatever he can find really.

They also learned how to open the dishwasher. They will open the door, stand on it, and take the dishes out. (Whether the dishes are clean, dirty, or dry.) They take their bottles and spill the milk all over. I have streaks of milk down my sliding glass doors, windows, TV stand, just everywhere. I honestly cannot keep up with the amount of messes they make.

Anthony, for some weird reason, likes to put his bottle into another cup and walks around using both. Well, he decided to do that the other day, put there was water already in the cup, so that spilled all over him. They also spilled some cereal milk all over themselves. They are getting WAY too smart. They will grab a stool and carry it to the counter and get whatever they need off the counter.

Surprisingly, when the plumbers fixed the pipes, there were no toys in the drains! The roots outside are causing the blockage. (Huge bummer) They had to remove most of the carpeting downstairs and they are working on the walls later today. We called Roto Rooter and they are doing a really good job with the clean up. They are extremely nice guys, which puts me at ease because I have all five of my children.

School finally starts Monday (thank God!) I can’t wait to get my TV back from the boys.

Thanks for reading today, I hope you are having a good one!

Posted in Family Issues, Uncategorized

Why is everything wet?

So, I was going to write a humorous blog about the twins getting into the dogs water, and spilling everything in sight, but that was before last night.

I live in an older house and the plumbing is crap. Unfortunately, the pipes are old and everything just sucks. The sewer started to back up into the shower in my basement. Awesome, right? So now insurance needs to be involved in the cleanup process.

I am very over trying to adult! It seems like when it rains, it pours, shit water, all over my basement. I also need to do laundry and dishes, bathe children and I’m terrified of making the water problem worse. I have a plumber coming over soon and I’m not sure how this is going to work out, but not much I can about it.

All of my towels are dirty, I think I might just go buy new owns (as long as this doesn’t cost us a million dollars.) We’ve had to snake the pipes three times this year, already. We just need to fix it, somehow.

My depression really doesn’t need these unexpected shit shows. My brain can take care of that for me. To make matters, slightly worse and better at the same time, I just sold my truck that I could no longer drive (not enough seats for all my kids). So I have a little cushion that I wouldn’t have had two weeks ago. I was going to use the cushion for some new tattoos and Christmas and birthday presents. Birthday season is coming.

So that’s that. Not much I can do about the situations, very much, out of my control. All I need to do is suck it up and deal with the lemons. (It would be easier with Tequila!)

Well thanks for reading today, and I truly hope your day is going better than mine!

Posted in Family Issues, Parenting

Where have you been?

Let me start by apologizing, sincerely, about my lack of posts this summer. When I begin to explain why, I’m hoping you will understand.

Let’s start with the icky parts of my summer. I went through a very severe depression. It was awful, and I had to work really hard to claw my way out of. It started when I was with all the kids, all day, and wasn’t get much help or (any) time to myself. I had a prescription anti-depressant, and it stopped working, it was starting to make me sick.

As a mother of 5 and babysitter to one, I weighed my options and decided to stop taking the meds. I have been working very diligently to preserve my sanity these last very long, three months. My computer also decided to stop working right. So I couldn’t type the things I was feeling. I started the mobile app of WordPress, and I couldn’t get my fingers to type fast enough. My thumbs don’t work that way.

I think I left my house a total of 10 times since school was released. I had so many kids at times, I was unable to load them into my minivan and go anywhere. I did however, get to go to the grocery store by myself!

Let’s move on to good and bad things.

My twins are now 18 months old and EVERYWHERE! They break everything and touch everything except their toys. They are “talking” to each other and it’s super cute! They definitely have their own language. They have also started to plot against me, I know it. During one of the few outings I took this summer, Samantha went one way (toward the street) and Anthony went the opposite direction (towards the concreate stairs)!

They figured out how to open the dishwasher, stand on the door, and mess with whatever is on the counter. I think they know that the Splenda is more expensive than the sugar, and spill that all over the kitchen. They also “help” empty the dishwasher. Granted, they are trying to help by handing me dishes, but they like the noise glass makes. They did break a few things this summer, oh well.

Good news.

I reconnected with a lot of family. It’s been really nice to have people understand how crazy you are and why. I also read 8 books, so far, this summer. I started trying to carve a weekend day out where I sit outside and read, smoke my cigarettes, and drink beer. I love it! The older boys go back to school (finally) in nine days! I can’t wait to be able to hear a TV show.

Well, I promise to post more and once I get the pictures off my old computer and onto the new one, I’ll post some pics. Thank you so much for reading and being patient! Have an awesome day!


Posted in Uncategorized

The Fire and the Log

I watch as the fire dances around the log. The fire ultimately will destroy the log with the heat of her dance. The log understands the fire’s need to dance, so he stays still, only to be destroyed.

The log loves the fire’s dance. He remains still, only giving an occasional pop of excitement, as the fire feeds her need. Her need to dance, to love, to envelope the log with everything she possesses.

The more she dances, the hotter it gets. The hotter it gets, the more she dances, unknowing what she is doing to the log. Her dance creeps into every crack and hole into the log’s soul. She makes the log radiate with her soul, her need for the log. The desire she feels for him burns deep within the log, the fire never notices, just continues her dance.

He is dying for her pleasure, unsure why. All he knows is the fire is beautiful while she dances around him, taking everything he can give. She doesn’t understand that the log is dying for her. The words are unspoken and the dance continues.

The dance of the fire is both beautiful and deadly. The log knows this and allows the dance to kill him, reduce him into ashes. He prays he is a Phoenix and will rise up once again, just to feel her dance again.

So she is dancing because she couldn’t do it without him. Every fire needs a log to fuel her dance, her passion, and her heart. The fire needs her log. Her port in the storm, that keeps her burning. His need is to keep her burning. The log needs to keep her dancing, warm and happy.

Without the fire the log would be cold. Yearning to be much more than simple wood. The fire completes the log, he doesn’t understand why. But the fire embraces him fully and keeps him warm. She embraces the log with her dance, her need to dance, and to be with the log.

The log and the fire’s love turns into ember, burning hot, but not as brilliantly. They know they are dying, the fire and her log. He let her dance, and paid the price. Her soul still radiating through him. The fire sparks and dances but slower now.

She realizes her dance killed him. Why did he let her do that? She never meant to kill the log, she only needed to dance and embrace her log.

Her log grew cold. She couldn’t live without him. Her dance slowed and cooled, she dies with the ashes she created. Her log.

The embers of their love, reduced to ashes. Until the last breath between the fire and the log are extinguished by time.


I know, this is not what I normally post about, but I wanted to share anyway. Thanks for reading today. I will try to go back to my normal posts soon.

Posted in Family Issues, Parenting


Summer vacation starts next week for my kiddos. (NOOOO!!) I’m really hoping I can stay sane for those three months. It’s going to be hard, but I know I’ll make it through.

WomanPullingHairout-Copy (1)I think that stay at home moms should be required to take a vacation the week before school gets out and the week school begins. I would love to take a break from my kids before I have to spend the next 3 months straight with them. Give us a little break in the hopes of keeping our sanity.

I, personally, would lay in a hammock on a beach somewhere and drink drinks with little umbrellas, and read. I would enjoy the quiet and lack of responsibilities and chores. It would probably get me through those long summer months. (Or at least most of them) I could also just get a hotel room and sleep all day, get food delivered to my room, walk around naked, and again there would be quiet.

Sadly, for me, this is only a dream. I know I won’t get my quiet vacation. Don’t get me wrong, I love hanging out with my kids, but ALL day, every day…that’s a lot. I need adult interaction or conversation.

I also have been struggling a lot with my depression. It has been really hard for me to get out of bed and take care of everyone, when I don’t want to take care of myself. I have to force my way through the day and by dinner time, I just want to go back to bed. I’m really hoping that I can keep that going through this summer. At least my anxiety has been at bay for a little bit. (Knocking on wood)

So that’s one of the reasons I haven’t posted for a while. The other reasons are; Anthony (17 months) has learned how to climb on top of the dining room table, coffee tables, opening the dishwasher, destroying everything. Oh and he learned how to get out of the baby jail I set up for them. Samantha (17 months) is almost walking. She will take a few steps and “fall” and laugh and clap. I think she can but she is lazy.

Other than the fact that they are everywhere, the twins are doing great. My four year old is driving me absolutely insane lately. And the older boys are excited about getting out of school. That’s all I have for today.

Thanks for reading!

Posted in Family Issues, Uncategorized

Why is this not a thing yet?

This weekend I went shopping, for myself! I earned a Target gift card and vowed, I would only spend it on myself. That’s exactly what I did. I bought myself some new eye liners, and nail polish, hair dye, and some other personal items. While I was there, I thought about buying a magazine that I haven’t read in years. Cosmo.

I read Cosmo all the time during my teenage years and when I was a younger woman. I realized, after reading the cover topics, I had outgrown my favorite magazine.

I have no need for “10 ways to get your man in bed” or “The truth about birth control” I started to feel really old. I was talking to a friend, recently married, and we realized there should be an alternative.

A magazine written for married and older women, with fun sex tips, but for married people. “5 fun, cheap date nights” or “How to have a quickie with kids in the house”. Other topics could be how to handle a divorce, what happens when your friends are going through a divorce.

We would also like to still have the sexy male models. But they have jobs and pay bills. Sexy, shirtless men holding babies and mopping floors. Things that grown, married women find attractive.

I really think we should make this happen! I have no idea how to start this, but I’m reaching out to this blogging community. Ladies, we can make this happen.

Thanks for reading!

Posted in Family Issues, Parenting

Take my kids to work day?

As a stay at home mama of five, I cherish the time my older boys are at school. However, today is take your kid to work day. A chance for parents to show their kids what they do all day. So as a homemaker, I decided to let my kids stay home from school today.

They are not watching TV or playing video games, they are doing my chores for the day.

Image result for spring cleaning

It’s more of an effort to make my boys self-sufficient men later in life. I’ve dated men that couldn’t do laundry or cook for themselves. Those men will not be my boys. Yes, I will still take care of them. I hope they find a partner that will take care them as I do. However, they will be taught how to take care of themselves.

So far, they have cleaned their room, the twins room, two loads of laundry, and emptying the dishwasher. They still need guidance and supervision to get them through this day.

Don’t worry, I’m teaching them life skills. They now know how to correctly load a dishwasher (more than hubby does), do their own laundry, and which cleaners are for what jobs. They also learned that trying to do these chores with twins around is hard and almost impossible. Maybe by the end of the day, they will appreciate what I do for them a little more.

So I traded my “stress free” school day for teaching my boys how to be men! (And hopefully, a clean house!) Luke (9) and Ronin (7) are getting old enough to start doing their own laundry and maybe even the dishes. I think I need to amend my chore chart and give them specific chores.

I really hope that they can continue  to do chores when they go to their dads’ houses. I doubt that they will because Luke and James (4) are only children at their dads. And Ronin is practically an only child, his brother and sister are basically adults. I will have a talk with the dads the next time I see them.

They need to start learning responsibility now, so the don’t grow into spoiled ass holes as adults. The world will not hand them clean clothes. The world will reward hard work and responsibility.

Thanks for reading today! I hope you have an awesome day.

Posted in Family Issues, Parenting

Why are little boys so Destructive?

To quote the hilarious stand-up of Louie C.K. “Boys fuck shit up!”. My little boys have become increasingly destructive and wasteful. They are absolutely driving me crazy!

In the last 2 weeks they have destroyed; a pool noodle, a baseball bat, a fancy sprinkler head (one of the fun, wacky ones), and my DVD player. These are the things I’m aware are broken.

There is a very good chance most of their toys are destroyed down in their play room. Last time I went down there to clean up, they had ripped all my Star Wars posters off the walls. To make matters worse the older boys are rubbing off on the twins. The twins, are the ones that broke my DVD player. They learned how to open and close the door. They are like moths to flames when it comes to my electronics! The player still works, but there is a piece missing, of course.

Anthony (1) has already broken 2 of my favorite Star Wars mugs, and a couple glasses. He also toilet papered my house the other day. Did you know that a brand new roll of toilet paper stretches from my bathroom into my kitchen and around into the living room? I didn’t either, until Tuesday. I probably could have gone my whole life without knowing that. He also learned how to throw! I am trying desperately to keep the few nice things I have safe from harm.

James (4) isn’t helping my situation of frustration at all. He decided to draw, with a red Sharpie, on my dining room table! Yay! He also tried to lie about it when I caught him with literally, a red hand. He was playing outside yesterday, in my BBQ ash. Filthy! I threw him in a bath with a brand new bottle of wash. After cleaning out the tub, I realized he used the ENTIRE bottle! Awesome, I was just thinking we should waste a whole bottle of anything. (Because I’m made of money!)

The twins are not eating as well as they need to be either. They will eat most of their food and give the rest to the dog. Of course the dog loves to eat eggs and bread and whatever else they drop on the ground. He doesn’t like bananas though! Have you ever stepped on a banana in bare feet? It’s a terrifying thought, “What did I just step in?” Gross!

I have 7 people to go pick up after, so I’ll end here today. Thanks for reading!