Why do I have to be the A** hole?

I don’t know where to start this. It’s been a long time since I’ve written a post. I’ve been keeping busy with all these damn kids, and they are driving me insane. No one knows how to listen anymore, maybe they never knew how to. I’m doing what I can to not raise ass holes, but that usually means I have to be one. It’s a decent trade-off for the future. I just get tired of doing it sometimes.

Today I had to wrestle my eight year old and dress him like a baby. He didn’t want to go to school. That’s his one job and he does that at least once a month. It infuriates me. He starts spring break next week and I tried to explain nicely that there were only 5 days left and then he get a whole week off. He wanted nothing to do with it. So what am I supposed to do? Give in? Let him take another day off from school? Nope, sorry kiddo, not happening. So I’m the ass hole because he had to go to school.

On top of that nonsense, the twins (2) were into everything this morning. They took a sugar bowl, full of Splenda, and dumped it into my favorite chair. I needed to get the vacuum out in order to clean it up. So I’m the ass hole because they hate the vacuum. They started to draw on the walls, with whatever they can find, including my face scrub, toothpaste, and pencils. They definitely keep me busy.

Since I share custody with the other three older boys, I’m almost always the bad guy. They get away with damn near everything at their dads’ houses. I’m the ass hole when I tell them to eat, so they don’t die. I won’t let them watch TV until 10 o’clock on a school night. Oh yea, and I make them help around the house. Worst mama, ever.

Mornings like today, ruin the rest of my day. It’s my wedding anniversary today, so I’m going to try my best to not let it ruin the day. We’ve been married 5 years, which is a record. Well, that’s all I have for today. I hope you have a great day and thanks for reading.


Why do I even try?

Today is my usual “clean the house” day. I pick up the toys that will be on the ground again 10 minutes (if I’m lucky) later. I sweep the floors so the twins can just throw their Cheerios on the ground and then stomp on them again. I fold loads and loads of laundry, only to have the clothes get thrown all over the floor, or (if I’m lucky) into the drawers where they actually go.

There are days, that I don’t try, and it shows. Toys are everywhere, no clean dishes or clothes and my kids ask why. Why? Because I didn’t feel like doing the same thing fifteen times today.

Today, I tried. I was cleaning up the kitchen and I realized the twins weren’t taking the spoons out of the dishwasher. I went to go look for them and I found them in the bathroom…putting kitty litter and a whole, almost brand new box, of tampons into the toilet.

So my kitchen is cleaned, for the most part, now. And the bathroom is a disaster. The LEGOS are, again, all over the floor.

No one ever said, “Being a stay-at-home mom is easy!” Honestly, if someone said that to me, I would probably punch them in the face and we wouldn’t be friends anymore. It is the definition of a never ending battle. Yay, I cleaned up the kitchen! Fuck, the twins got into everything else in the house. Now I have to go clean up this mess. And the next minute they are in the trash, in the kitchen, Great!

My birthday was earlier this week and I spent the day cleaning the house, shoveling the snow, and making dinner. I haven’t had a “day off” in two weeks. By “day off” I mean sleeping in, and not doing too many chores. Saturdays are my clean up days because Sundays are my “days off”. I try my best to get the house at least half decent so I can sit and read my book, or work on my crossword puzzles.

I try because I care. I try because it keeps me busy. I try because I love my family and want them to have clean clothes, a nice meal, and not to die on the insane amount of toys that end up on the floor. It’s not easy to care about all of them, the house, the chores.

Some days, I just want to stay in bed, all day. Let them figure out what to do. But I can’t, so I don’t.

Hubby is good about saying the house looks nice when he comes home from work. That helps. The boys thank me for dinner, most of the time. Samantha said she loved me after she got smacked on the hand because of the litter in the toilet and saw how upset I was.

Some days I can’t stand my life, usually on the really bad ones. Most days I love what I do for my family. After all, what would they do without me?

Thanks for reading today, and I apologize for my absence, but now you why.

“What do your kids want for Christmas?”

Tis the season.

I get this question a lot this time of year, obviously. As a Mama, I know what my kids want and I’m begging you to listen to what I have to say before you buy any kid a present. (Especially if you don’t have kids.)

Please, by all means, spoil my kids. I do have a few requests, however.

  1. I know you will go to the aisles and play with all the cool toys. Go there first, put it in your cart, and touch the buttons for the entire rest of your trip. If you can handle the toys’ noise for your entire store trip, consider buying it.
  2. PLEASE, make sure it has an “Off switch” I know it sounds like common sense, but some toys don’t. Have you ever been awaken at 3 a.m. from a “demon toy” singing the ABC song? I have, and it scares the shit out of me.
  3. Buy the batteries the toy requires. There is nothing worse than Christmas morning, and their favorite new toy is here, and I don’t have the batteries to power the damn thing.
  4. I volume button would be lovely. I understand some toys don’t have them (they ALL should)!
  5. Please don’t get them a game with 952 pieces. 900 of those pieces will be missing an hour after they open the game. It amazes me, still, that they can lose 90% of the game so quickly. (They can. Trust me.)
  6. Please, don’t expect them to remember, play with, or even know where the toy is located in a month. They are only kids.

This is Grinchy Mama’s advice of presents for my kids.

Thanks for reading and Happy Holidays!


Why are my dishes blue?

Last night, like most every other night, I did the dishes and loaded them into the dishwasher. Turned it on, and forgot about them.

This morning, I was getting the boys ready for school, and all the dishes were blue!

At first, I thought maybe it was the dishwasher tab thing I used to clean them. I haven’t changed soaps in a long time, so I knew that wasn’t it. I started thinking maybe there was a crayon, or something, in it. Well, I was right!

I took the bottom rack out and found the crayon paper, it was blue. Mystery solved.

I just got finished re-washing all the dishes I had already washed from yesterday. They are sitting on top of my counter drying. I cleaned out as much crayon residue as I could, in the hopes that it will help. I’m currently running it with like 5 dishes in there. It seems like a huge waste of water and soap, but I’m hoping it will clean itself out. I also left a few clear cups in there to see if I need to hand wash them again.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to take the dishes FROM the dish washer to clean them? My brain was freaking out! That’s the opposite motion than I’ve done thousands of times. It was bizarre. My body was trying to reject the motion.

So know I know to double check for crayons at the bottom of the dishwasher before running it. I also know that the water gets hot enough to melt a crayon and sent it shooting through the entire dishwasher. Yay me!

Thanks for reading today, and I hope this made you smile a little.


What if I get sick too?

As a mama, I’m no stranger to sickness.

Yesterday, around 3 in the afternoon, my husband started to not feel so well. (Maybe it was the poor performance by the Broncos, but he is not a fan, so I doubt it.) A few hours later he became violently ill. I am a good wife, so I tried my best to help him feel better.

A little after dinner, Anthony (23 months) started throwing up as well. I knew I as in for a long night. He threw up quite a few times in his bed. After a while, I just had him sitting up with me and saved myself some laundry. (I had already done one load of blankets and sheets.) He finally fell asleep and stayed that way through the night. The same could not be said for a few other people.

Around midnight, I heard Luke (9), throwing up in the bathroom. So I got up to check on him. He wasn’t feeling well, obviously, so I got him some water and tucked him back in. He was up a few more times after that. Hubby was also up a few times during the night as well.

As I was laying in bed, not feeling so great, I decided I was not going to let the sickness get me. I woke up with everyone, still not feeling the best, but went to the store for some ingredients for dinner. I needed some chicken for soup. I figured on the off chance I did get sick later today, at least my family would have some dinner. So I threw it in my slow cooker. Homemade chicken noodle soup!

I quarantined the house, so if anyone decides to show up, they are not welcome. (Sorry, not today. You’ll thank me later.) Hubby stayed home from work and I kept the kids out of school. Hopefully this is a 24 hour bug and everyone starts feeling better soon. I’m sitting here with a cup of tea, trying my best to stay healthy so I can properly care for my family. (Wish me luck!)

I hope you enjoyed reading this and sorry it’s been so long in between posts, I’ll try to get better about that.

Have a great day.


Do you like Halloween?

I don’t just like Halloween, I love it! IMG_1361

This is the graveyard and some webs in my front yard. I can’t take all the credit, they are my friend’s and he is letting me borrow them this year. I’m throwing the first annual Halloween block party on Saturday. And the best part…I get All my boys!

I really don’t talk too much about my older boys, as they are in school and rocking it! I also have to share them with their dads. I asked the dads if I could please have them this year. They all said YES! I’m so excited! I’m cleaning out the garage for pumpkin carving and festivities.

We have creepy guys hanging from the ceiling and spiders and webs every where. It’s going to be amazing. I’m making some blood-shot eye deviled eggs, some garden “crow” soup (chicken noodle), and I was also thinking about making some pumpkin curry. (Why not?)


This guy is my favorite! He is sitting in the spot where a tree once stood and it just worked! It already looked like a fresh grave, so why not add the bones?

My friend, is also I pirate, and hung a lot of skeletons from my garage and above my front door.


This is honestly, just a taste of what is to come! Luke (9) is going to be Captain Jack Sparrow, Ronin (7) is going to be the Ragnarok Hulk, James (4) is going to be Batman. I think I’m going to dress Anthony (22 mon) as a Jedi and Samantha (22 mon) as a fairy princess. She loves to wear tutus and the fairy wings I bought for her. As for me, I’m changing it up this year, and I’m going to be a pirate as well. I normally dress as a Star Wars character, but wanted to do something a little different. Hubby is going to be the Ghost Rider, (an excuse to show off his motorcycle) but the party, hopefully, will be in the garage.

I’ll take more pictures on Saturday and share (if you want) and thanks for reading today! Have a Happy Halloween!!!


How did you get that?

My twins are now 22 months! I honestly can not believe we have survived the last 22 months. It’s getting a little easier. They are walking to the van on their own, so I don’t need to carry the babies in the car seats and break my back anymore. (Yay!) So that’s the good news. The bad news; they are EVERYWHERE and into EVERYTHING!

Anthony learned how to climb the ladder to the top bunk. He can also climb into Samantha’s crib. He is a little spider monkey! I went into the kitchen the other day and he was sitting in the cabinet, with the door closed. It’s only the pots and pans cabinet, so he wasn’t in trouble. They get into the dish washer and pull out dishes. They also can reach on the counters now, so everything needs to be pushed all the way back. The drive me crazy!

You can’t leave anything important where they can reach it. You left your coffee on the table? Well, now the coffee is on the ground and your mug is broken. Remote on the coffee table? Good job, Paw Patrol is on and so are the captions. That’s right, they figured out how to get Paw Patrol on the TV! I’m really not sure how they do it, but they did. They lose their minds when it turns on! It’s really cute. Samantha dances and Anthony jumps all over the place. (Sorry for the tangent.) You left your phone somewhere? Now, you’re locked out for an hour. Purse on the table? Car keys are missing and so is your wallet. (They can also do zippers now, great!)

I’ve had to buy three new toothbrushes in the last 2 months because they climb onto the toilet and grab the brush holder. They hid my toothbrushes and the soap dispenser. About a week later, I was cleaning under the boys’ bed, and found the soap thing. But no toothbrushes. (It happens.)

They are extremely smart and cute, but they drive me crazy! Thanks for reading today, I hope you enjoyed!


“Why is it so dark Mama?”

Yesterday we had the first snow fall of the season! It wasn’t supposed to be a terrible storm, but I ended up with about 3 inches.

We also lost power in the morning. It was only out for about 2 hours, which isn’t too bad. Except, my boys’ school also lost power. They were thrilled! a “snow day” in October. I was not as happy.

It also didn’t help that the coffee was not hot. I had one cup of hot coffee, right before the power went out, and then a few luke warm ones. Super bummer! I need coffee to function in the morning. Luckily, the power came back on at 0945, first thing I did was make another pot of coffee.

I had to deal with falling tree branches hitting my roof and freaking me out. I have two very old, giant trees in my backyard and they still had a ton of leaves on them. The first branch fell right above the window in the kitchen that I look out while doing dishes. That one scared me the most, it was loud and made the lights shake. The other two weren’t as terrible but still got my adrenalin flowing.

Really, not a big deal. I got dinner cooked, everyone ate, and I was doing the dishes. Hubby was watching Monday night football and power went out again! This time, it was really dark. The twins and boys got really scared and screamed. I scrambled to find a lighter and some candles.

A few minutes later our friends came over for game night. We hang out in the candle light for about 45 minutes. Now, I didn’t really care about the football game last night. I already lost my fantasy football matchup by 2 points on Sunday night.

I was, however, looking forward to the trailer for Star Wars VIII The Last Jedi! I realized we were going to miss it unless the power came back on. I started to say it aloud and the lights flickered back on! As if the Force, felt my pain and fixed the problem! Right as the dish reset and turned the game back on, the trailer started! I was very pleased with the timing and the trailer for my favorite movies.

Well that is really the only exciting thing that’s happened to me in a while. Thanks for reading today!


Why do we have to learn what “hot” means the hard way?

Samantha (almost 20 months, where has the time gone?) learned what hot meant today. The twins are extremely curious and love to watch me cook. They will move chairs and stand on anything that is tall enough to see what’s on the counter. It is really cute, but it makes it difficult for me to cook some days. Keeping track of knives, hot pots and pans, and baby fingers.

I was cooking some eggs for the kids this morning, and Samantha was watching me like she always does. The eggs were finished, and I turned to put them on some plates, and that’s when the screaming started. I felt so terrible. I turned for just a few seconds. Her index and middle fingers touched the burner. She has two burns (not bad) on her little fingers. I’m not a nurse, but I definitely know how to handle kitchen burns. I put her fingers on ice, gave her some Tylenol, and I have an aloe plant in my kitchen window sill, just for that reason.

All my kiddos learned what hot meant the hard way. I’m sure I did as well, but why do we need to learn the lesson that way? James (4) grabbed my electric frying pan when he was about two. Luke (9) and Ronin (7) learned the burner way and Anthony (20 mon) learned by grabbing a frying pan.

I have a burn on my shoulder from a pot. Yes, you read that right. Anthony was trying to grab and pull down a pot of boiling water, I caught him just in time, saved him and the water, but got my shoulder. I have burn scars all over my hands and wrists from cooking. (Apparently I haven’t fully learned what hot means!) Ronin was cooking a couple months ago and got a burn on his hand. I put some aloe on it and encouraged him to keep cooking. Burns are a part of cooking, I guess.

Luke and Ronin like to cook, I’m so proud of them for that. James and the twins are always trying to get the veggies or cheese I’m chopping. I have never, ever cut their little fingers, mine always get it. (Knock on wood.) Haha. I have come close and had to yell at them because it’s scary.

In happier news, we promoted the twins from high chairs to the big table. They are starting to eat better and they love eating with us! They get so excited at dinner and love sitting next to Dada! Anthony will get his booster seat, that is 30 years old, put it in the chair and hang out like a big boy! I’m so glad we can all sit together and eat dinner.

Thanks for reading today and always keep aloe in your kitchen if you are as clumsy as me! (Haha!) I hope you have a great day!


How are the Twins?


My twins are getting so big! They are already 19 months old.

They have already started the “terrible twos”. If you tell Samantha no, she throws a temper tantrum. And I mean a TANTRUM! She has got a pair of lungs and pipes. She is the loudest little child I know. Her ear-piercing scream could kill a monster from fifty feet away. I’m surprised the police don’t come to my house for noise complaints. I’m not sure how else I can describe the volume of her screams.

She also meows at any furry creature. Bunnies in the front yard, “Meow”. The dog, meow and when she sees the cat, she loses her mind with the meows. The other day, we were in the grocery store and she was just meowing. A couple of elderly ladies were laughing so hard at us. She stills loves to dance and started to sing along with the Paw Patrol theme song. It’s so sweet! She can say; Star Wars, football, Broncos, and of course, Paw Patrol.

She has the best facial expressions!

Anthony’s turn. He is such a pain. He can be very sweet, at times, but mostly just awful. He climbs on everything. He dances on the dining room table, steals remotes, and “flavors” coffee with everything he can find. He can make Samantha laugh and cry. The other morning, I woke up to laughter. That was the best way to start my day! They were both jumping in their cribs and laughing and yelling, “Ma-Ma”! He loves to play football with Daddy.

He loves meat, but is getting picky about other food. He is an escape artist! He can get out of his high chair and climbs into his sister’s. He’ll steal her food and sometimes, they will share their dinners. He will climb into my lap and sit still for a few minutes, but that’s about all I get. He’s had one hair cut already and is due for another. They both have curly hair, and I’m not even sure where that came from. My hair isn’t curly at all, neither is hubby’s.

I still cannot believe it’s been 19 months of stress, no sleep, and double the love, hugs, and kisses.

They also figured out that Mama can not go two directions at the same time. So they split up, and make me run to catch them. I went to the liquor store the other day and I had James (4) and the twins, with no cart or car seats. Mama needed beer. Long story short, I ended up carrying both babies and the case of beer. James was holding on to Anthony’s leg because I didn’t have enough hands. This walk to the mini van, was not very far, but it was very trying. The man with the motorcycle parked next to me, said “That was amazing!” He called me a super hero. I told him I had to go get the other two boys from school and his jaw dropped. It was a pretty good feeling.

Well, that’s all I have time to talk about today. I still need to shower, dishes, and laundry before they wake up from their nap. Thanks for reading and I hope you have an awesome day!